How to Write a Movie Parody
by Dracozombie
Summary: With this simple five step guide, you too will know how to write different, awesome, and UNIQUE movie parodies and become just like every other author in the Cartoon Crossovers section! Yays! Rated T for some language.


So, you wanna be a Movie Parody writer, eh? Well, lemme tell ya—it ain't easy. There's a lot of things you need to take into consideration before submitting your _oh so creative_ Movie Parodies to the Cartoon X-overs section. I shall aid you along your journey to make your very own Movie Parody and be _the bestest riter evah_!

**Step 1: Picking a Movie**

Select only the most popular movies; anything pertaining to Disney will do. Never use anything 80 percent of the world's population isn't already familiar with. Who would want to write about something stupid like _Minority Report_, _Artificial Intelligence_, _Babe_, or anything serious like that? The _bestest riters evah_ come here to read movies based off of _Disney's Tarzan _or_ The Little Mermaid_.

Oh, and whatever you do, _never_ parody anything pertaining to horror, or anything with a genre that's not humorous or not for kids. _A Nightmare on Elm Street_ has been parodied only a few times in the past, but who cares?! No one wants to read about their favorite characters being killed. Any hack author who takes risks and tries concepts that are different should be shunned. God forbid if anyone here actually writes a parody based off of _Saw_ or _Hellraiser_. Everyone wants a happy ending, right? They're cartoons, so of course they deserve happy endings and the villain never triumphs, just like in children's movies!

**Step 2: Titles and Summaries**

The title and summary are the first things people look at when they see your story, right? That means it has to be good, and by "good," I mean the exact same thing everyone else has. Let me tell you the _proper_ way to write a summary for a _Lion King_ parody:

"Character A can't wait to be king, but Character B will do anything to steal the throne, even if it means getting rid of Character A and Character C."

See how easy that was? Why bother putting any effort into your summary when you can just do the same thing everyone is already familiar with? Summaries shouldn't take anymore than five seconds to think of. Anyone who tells you otherwise have no life.

Now for the title. While not as important as the summary or the character cast (see below), the title must be unique to you and only you. Again, using _The Lion King_ as an example, here are a few titles I have thought up that pertain to various cartoons you can use:

The Phantom King (Danny Phantom)

The Fairy King (Timmy Turner)

The Magic King(Queen?) (Juniper Lee)

The Dragon King (Jake Long, or heck, even Spyro)

The Heart King (Sora)

Those titles were just as easy as the summaries. Note that no more than five seconds were spent on thinking up those titles, and more brainpower was spent just thinking of who the main character should be. Also note that the above characters listed are popular, so that means you should use them too, right? This brings me to the next step.

**Step 3: Selecting a Cast**

Arguably the thing that separates your Movie Parody from the _hundreds_ already in existence is your character cast. It's what makes fellow authors drawn to your _spectacular_ piece of work and what sets it apart from the rest. Forget plot, they just want to see Danny and June saying "I love you" to each other!

The characters you use are just as important as the movie you're ripping o—I mean, parodying. It's important to only use characters everyone else does, because they're already familiar with them. Recommended characters that can be used are Danny Phantom, Juniper Lee, Sora, Lilo and Stitch, Timmy Turner, Jake Long, and many others. In fact, just check out the first page to the Cartoon X-overs section and you'll see a plethora of characters you can choose!

Oh, also, everyone _loves_ self-inserts! Don't be afraid to make yourself a member of the main cast, even though there's already hundreds of cartoons in existence at your disposal. We already know who they are! It also doesn't matter if your name numbers in it. Who doesn't want to read about someone named Naruto365, even if she's a girl and it's not even a real name? It's all good! Your loyal fans won't care! Also, make your self-inserts as Mary Sue-ish as you want. You're certainly not a Mary Sue, right? You'll be even better with super duper magical powers, ability to talk to animals, laser beams, transformations, and anything else that'll be completely out of place in the movie you're parodying!

Remember to never cast a hero as a villain. Who are you to try and make June a villain when there are plenty of other typical villains we can use? After all, trying something so _different _and _unique_ is frowned upon in this section and the pathetic author should be flamed. Let's use someone who's so typical as a villain that we won't get flamed for taking things out of everyone's comfort zone. How about Vlad Masters/Plasmius or Jafar? Or, heck, any other Disney villain out there will suffice, because we already know what to expect. No need for uniqueness here, no siree!

**Step 4: Writing! Yays!**

We're getting into the juicy stuff now. Yays! Disregard anything you've learned regarding grammar, punctuation, plot, and characterization, 'cause we're doing this by the script! Yays!

The most important rule is to copy off the script as much as possible while at the same time, adding your own _unique_ twists! We shall, once again, use _The Lion King_ as an example, and we shall rewrite the scene where Scar tricks Simba into going to the elephant graveyard, using characters common and acceptable: Danny and Vlad.

"_Hey, Uncle Vlad! Uncle Vlad, guess what?! This is so awesome!" Danny exclaimed as he flew over to Vlad in the main hall._

"_Really? And what is so _awesome_...?" Vlad asked in a bored, sarcastic tone._

_Danny paid it no attention. "I'm gonna be king of Toon Rock!"_

"_Yipee."_

"_My dad showed me the whole place! It's so big...and one day, I'm gonna rule it all!" He finished with a greedy laugh._

"_Yes, well, I apologize for not showing more _enthusiasm _to your victory, young Daniel, but I am afraid I'm a bit fatigued from a previous, rather _big and exciting_ quarrel with a monster and must rest." To emphasize his point, Vlad flopped down onto the ground melodramatically._

_Fighting monsters? How awesome was that? Danny was about to say something along the lines of Vlad being the coolest uncle ever when a question popped into his mind. "Hey Uncle Vlad, when I'm king, what'll that make you?"_

"_A ghost's uncle," he responded dryly._

_Danny chuckled. "You're pretty funny."_

"_Oh, I'm chock-full of jokes," Vlad said with a light smirk, rising from his spot and walking to the window. "So, your father showed you the whole kingdom, did he?"_

"_Everything," Danny breathed out in awe, walking next to him and peering out the window to view the place that would be his territory one day._

"_Then I'm sure he showed you that dark area just beyond the northern border, right?"_

_The kingdom all but forgotten, Danny's gaze cast downward and a scowl was placed onto his face. "No...he said I can't go there..."_

"_And he's right! It's _far_ too dangerous for someone as young as you!" Vlad said to him in a dramatic, almost condescending voice. "Only the bravest ghosts go there."_

_Danny glared back up at him. "I'm plenty brave! Who stopped that burglar that broke into here last week? I can handle what's out there."_

"_Ahh, but that burglar was merely human. What is over there is much more dangerous than any mere burglar...it's too horrible, and I am afraid I cannot tell you" he said with a devious smirk._

"_Aww, c'mon, Uncle Vlad!" Danny pressed on, eager to finally get some real action._

"_Daniel, Daniel, you must understand. I'm merely looking out for my favorite nephew." He affectionately ruffled Danny's hair._

_Danny snorted and swatted the hand away. "Yeah, right, I'm your _only _nephew."_

"_All the more reason for me to protect you. I mean, a robot graveyard is much too threatening for a young ghost—oops!" He covered his mouth in mock alarm._

_However, Danny was too excited to notice. "A robot _what_?! Whoa!"_

"_Oh dear, I'm afraid I've said too much," Vlad continued, feigning worry. He crouched down and placed his hands on Danny's shoulders. "Just do me a favor. Promise me you'll never go near that _dreadful_ place."_

_Danny considered this for a moment. "...no problem!" he lied._

"_That's a good boy. Now run along now," Vlad said warmly, pushing Danny out the door. Danny was about to fly to June, his best friend, to tell her the news, but Vlad halted him. "And remember...it's our little secret."_

_With a knowing smile, Danny flew away, not knowing that as soon as he left, a smile of his own placed itself on Vlad's devious face._

Wasn't that awesome and well-written? Even though I was totally basing it off the script, it's still original because I altered the dialogue and characters a bit. It's completely acceptable! And you don't have to get into the characters' heads at all. The movie already takes care of that for you, but I just added in a little depth because I'm just awesome like that. You can be awesome, too!

But can you believe that some crappy Movie Parodies out there do that description thing so much that their word count can go over 5,000 for two scenes? Who wants to read something long and with so much depth and detail there's no room for plot? Come on, we want to see the hyena (or other characters of your choice) chase scene already! We don't need to know why the character playing Simba wants to be king! The movie already explains it! Remember, extra character depth and detail is bad and unnecessary.

If the Disney movie you're parodying has songs, by all means, include them, even if they make absolutely no sense due to your character choice. Everyone loves the song! It's just not a Movie Parody without them.

Remember not to deviate from the original script too much. Everyone except you are stupid and won't know what's happening if you try to include new scenes or take out old ones, and altering them beyond recognition into something _totally _original is a BIG no-no. Nope, people wanna read the Circle of Life scene _exactly_ the way it's played, and gosh darn it, you're going to do just that! You don't want to upset your many followers, do you?

**Step 5: Flamers**

Along the way, you'll probably run into at least one flamer out there. These assholes of the internet will try to tell you you're being unoriginal for copying off the script, but you know that's a lie. You're being original and you're just doing what everyone wants to see! Screw her if she's writing something serious and portraying Lazlo or someone in a more mature light. She's taking you outside of your comfort zone, and if some bitch like Dracozombie flames you, flame her back!

Her stories aren't _nearly_ as good compared to yours and she'll _never_ be even half the author you are because she doesn't like to write Movie Parodies like you do. She has, at most, _one_ Movie Parody. Unacceptable. What's even more unacceptable is that there's so much depth and detail that you can't even tell what the hell's going on! Who is she to tell you your story sucks? You're a much better writer than that loser! She even has the gall to portray a hero as a villain in one of her crappy non-Movie Parody fics! June is not a villain! Why did she have to go and try something different and plague the Cartoon X-over section with her ilk?

Even if it wasn't Dracozombie who flamed you, don't bother reading his/her bio page. Nothing of importance is there, and it's just someone prattling on their beliefs and ideas. Just scroll on down and flame the first fic you see! I'm sure the stupid flamer will cry and moan and bitch about it somewhere, but that's okay! You did the right thing by flaming her! Good job!

And contrary to what anyone says, there is _no difference_ between a flame and constructive criticism. The people who give these out sure have a lot of nerve to tell you your story isn't good and has flaws! Since constructive criticism insults your fic's quality with its "help" and doesn't give out that much praise, it's obviously a flame. And then they go and say that it's not...HAH! That's a laugh! Lol

If some asshole decides to give your fic constructive criticism, either flame them back, or send them an angry PM saying they insulted you! Then you can go block them for good measure to ensure they never criticize you again and you won't have to keep dealing with them. That'll teach 'em!

**In Conclusion**

If you follow the above steps and ignore the flaming "constructive criticizers," then you'll be in good hands to make your very own Movie Parody and become _the bestest riter evah!_ I mean, there are so many awesome Movie Parodies that this section should be named Movie Parodies instead of Cartoon X-overs, yet none of them are as good as yours! You're different! You're unique! You slightly alter dialogue! You choose characters everyone else does!

You're _the bestest riter evah!_

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Author's note: If you flame me, I will laugh. If this gets deleted, I will laugh. If you take any of this seriously, I will laugh...in your _face_.


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